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Are you n a relationship or is its emotional manipulation?

Are you n a relationship, or is it emotional manipulation?


Have you ever experienced the gut-wrenching feeling of being used and discarded by someone you thought cared about you? Someone who seems to play with your emotions like a toy, leaving you heartbroken and confused whenever they come back into your life? If so, you may have been the victim of emotional manipulation, a tactic some people use to control and dominate others for their benefit.

In this post, I want to explore the painful cycle of emotional manipulation that many people experience, particularly in romantic relationships. From the initial stages of being love-bombed and idealized to the devastating aftermath of being discarded and replaced, emotional manipulation can leave deep scars that take time and effort to heal. By understanding the tactics used by emotional manipulators and learning how to set healthy boundaries, we can protect ourselves from further harm and create more fulfilling relationships in the future.


At the beginning of a relationship with an emotional manipulator, everything may seem perfect. They may lavish you with attention, compliments, and gifts, making you feel like you are the center of their world. They may appear to share your values, interests, and goals, creating a sense of closeness and connection that feels like destiny. They may even talk about a future together, making plans and promises that give you hope for a long-lasting relationship.

However, you may need to realize then that emotional manipulators use this idealization phase to gain your trust and dependence. By creating an intense emotional bond with you, they can make you feel obligated to reciprocate their affection and attention. They may also use your vulnerabilities and insecurities to their advantage, exploiting your need for validation and support.

During this phase, it's essential to pay attention to any red flags or warning signs indicating the relationship is not as healthy as it seems. For example, if your partner seems too perfect or good to be true if they rush the relationship milestones or isolate you from your friends and family, these may be signs of emotional manipulation.


Once the emotional manipulator has gained your trust and dependence, they may change their behavior towards you. They may become distant, critical, or dismissive, making you feel like you are not good enough or that you are to blame for the problems in the relationship. They may also overtly manipulate you, using guilt, fear, or shame to control your actions and reactions.

You may feel confused, hurt, and powerless during this devaluation phase. You may try to please your partner more, hoping to regain their affection and approval, but nothing seems to work. You may also start to doubt your worth and sanity, wondering if you are the one who is causing the problems in the relationship.

It's crucial to recognize that the devaluation phase is not your fault, and you are not responsible for your partner's behavior. Emotional manipulators often use this phase to test your boundaries and see how much they can get away with. If you allow them to treat you poorly, they will continue to do so. They may back off or escalate their tactics if you set clear boundaries and assert yourself.


Eventually, the emotional manipulator may end the relationship, leaving you devastated and abandoned. They may do this suddenly and without warning, or they may gradually withdraw from the relationship, making you feel like you are the one who is pushing them away. They may also blame you for the breakup, making you feel like you are the one who is responsible for the pain and loss.

After the discard phase, you may struggle to heal and move on. You may feel a sense of grief, anger, or betrayal, wondering how someone who seemed so loving and caring could turn into someone so cruel and heartless. You may also feel a sense of shame or guilt, wondering if you did something to deserve this treatment.

It's important to remember that the discard phase is not a reflection of your worth or value as a person. Emotional manipulators often use this phrase to regain power and control, losing you in everything. However, by caring for yourself and seeking support from others, you can rebuild your sense of self-worth and create a happier, healthier life.


In conclusion, emotional manipulation is a painful and destructive cycle that can leave deep scars on our hearts and minds. By understanding the tactics used by emotional manipulators and learning how to set healthy boundaries, we can protect ourselves from further harm and create more fulfilling relationships in the future. Remember, you deserve to be loved and respected for who you are, and anyone who tries to use your heart for their benefit is not worthy of your time or attention.


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